Values and Difficulties: A LearnWell Values Course, 4-7

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The Bible Dialog Institute presents:

Values and Difficulties
Applying the Central Values of the Sermon on the Mount

Values and Difficulties is an online course and require only Internet and email access. You may study anytime, anywhere, 24/7. No textbooks are needed. The Value Series consists of four courses V101, V102, V103, V104. These courses are free, but to get a Continuing Education Certificate, there is a fee. Do not submit attachments and do not cut and past from other sources.

You will discover that many of your troubles stem from the fact that you live by values that are in conflict with those of the Sermon on the Mount. The Sermon on the Mount is the center of a values-system that leads out of trouble.

4 Anger and Adultery, Matt. 5:21-32

The Sermon on the Mount is about the inner life, the thoughts that control a person's actions. Good thoughts bring forth good actions, bad ones bad actions. A love that is central to a person colors all human relationships with an over-riding love. You learn to love others so much, that you can not load them with the garbage of your frustrations. You learn to love your spouse so much that you cannot deceive her by having a real or fantasy sex-life with another person. Repent of your selfishness and deceptions, asks Jesus.

The values in this section include forgiveness and purity. Consider keeping a private journal or diary to record your anger episodes and thought patterns that may dominate your life. Pray until you can forgive. Choose purity in your life.

By now, Bill never got enraged, never screamed at anyone, never slammed a door. So he thought that he had his old anger well under control. But then he noted that he was still critical of most people around him, that he withdrew from those that displease him, that many things really annoyed him, and that that he could not forget when someone had wronged him. He discovered that anger had many faces. He learned that anger really had not left him, that it was just manifesting itself in more sociably acceptable terms.

On the subject of anger, the Sermon on the Mount says to you: "Respect others enough so as to avoid hurting them needlessly with your anger. If someone feels that you have hurt them, make it right with them."

Matt 5: 22, 24. Whoever is angry with his brother or sister groundlessly,
shall be in danger of the judgment.
If your brother or sister has something against you,
first be reconciled to your brother or sister.

Bill has a choice of 1) letting go of his anger, 2) suppressing it, 3) hurting others with it, or 4) preserving his person, needs and values while considering the needs and feelings of those around him. He knows who he is and feels loved by those that really matter. He is not over-dependent on everyone's approval. Bill has learned that relationships are more important than performance, that he can give others permission to be different, and that he and others are free to make choices. He accepts the fact that life has its difficulties. He lets go of his false pride and defensiveness. He stops evaluating everything and everybody. He is on his way to a fuller life.

Marriage is a promise and a contract. Adultery then is the breaking of that promise and contract. Adultery is defined as the voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse. Adultery starts small and ends big. In this connection, a proverb states: "Sow a thought and reap an act. Sow an act and reap a habit. Sow a habit and reap a character. Sow a character and reap a destiny."

Matt 5: 28. Whoever looks at a woman
to lust after her
has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Jim knows that his inner thoughts control his outer behavior. So it is no surprise for him to learn that bad thoughts can lead to bad behavior. What surprises him is that his sexual fantasies have their own reality. While only in his inner mind, they do affect his marriage relationship in the real world.

Respond to the True-and False questions. They may also serve as basis for further thinking and discussion. The questions are based on the above Bible passages.

1At times it is OK to be angry. There are grounds for some anger
2 If people have wronged you, they first must come to ask forgiveness.
3 Anger sometimes expresses itself in name-calling and murder.
4 Most anger strains or breaks relationships.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. What anger, if any, is justified? What are the limits of justified anger?

2. What is the place of the Bible and the Holy Spirit in healing groundless anger?

Christ tells them that rash anger is heart-murder (v. 22); Whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause, breaks the sixth commandment. By our brother here, we are to understand any person, though ever so much our inferior, as a child, a servant, for we are all made of one blood. Anger is a natural passion; there are cases in which it is lawful and laudable; but it is then sinful, when we are angry without cause. The word is eikeµ, which signifies, sine causâ, sine effectu, et sine modo—without cause, without any good effect, without moderation; so that the anger is then sinful, (1.) When it is without any just provocation given; either for no cause, or no good cause, or no great and proportionable cause; when we are angry at children or servants for that which could not be helped, which was only a piece of forgetfulness or mistake, that we ourselves might easily have been guilty of, and for which we should not have been angry at ourselves; when we are angry upon groundless surmises, or for trivial affronts not worth speaking of. (2.) When it is without any good end aimed at, merely to show our authority, to gratify a brutish passion, to let people know our resentments, and excite ourselves to revenge, then it is in vain, it is to do hurt; whereas if we are at any time angry, it should be to awaken the offender to repentance, and prevent his doing so again; to clear ourselves (2 Co. 7:11), and to give warning to others. (3.) When it exceeds due bounds; when we are hardy and headstrong in our anger, violent and vehement, outrageous and mischievous, and when we seek the hurt of those we are displeased at. This is a breach of the sixth commandment, for he that is thus angry, would kill if he could and durst; he has taken the first step toward it; Cain’s killing his brother began in anger; he is a murderer in the account of God, who knows his heart, whence murder proceeds, ch. 15:19.

2. He tells them, that given opprobrious language to our brother is tongue-murder, calling him, Raca, and, Thou fool. When this is done with mildness and for a good end, to convince others of their vanity and folly, it is not sinful. Thus James says, O vain man; and Paul, Thou fool; and Christ himself, O fools, and slow of heart. But when it proceeds from anger and malice within, it is the smoke of that fire which is kindled from hell, and falls under the same character. (1.) Raca is a scornful word, and comes from pride, "Thou empty fellow;’’ it is the language of that which Solomon calls proud wrath (Prov. 21:24), which tramples upon our brother-disdains to set him even with the dogs of our flock. This people who knoweth not the law, is cursed, is such language, Jn. 7:49. (2.) Thou fool, is a spiteful word, and comes from hatred; looking upon him, not only as mean and not to be honored, but as vile and not to be loved; "Thou wicked man, thou reprobate.’’ The former speaks a man without sense, this (in scripture language) speaks a man without grace; the more the reproach touches his spiritual condition, the worse it is; the former is a haughty taunting of our brother, this is a malicious censuring and condemning of him, as abandoned of God. Now this is a breach of the sixth commandment; malicious slanders and censures are poison under the tongue, that kills secretly and slowly; bitter words are as arrows that would suddenly (Ps. 64:3), or as a sword in the bones. The good name of our neighbor, which is better than life, is thereby stabbed and murdered; and it is an evidence of such an ill-will to our neighbor as would strike at his life, if it were in our power.

3. He tells them, that how light soever they made of these sins, they would certainly be reckoned for; he that is angry with is brother shall be in danger of the judgment and anger of God; he that calls him Raca, shall be in danger of the council, of being punished by the Sanhedrim for reviling an Israelite; but whosoever saith, Thou fool, thou profane person, thou child of hell, shall be in danger of hell-fire, to which he condemns his brother; so the learned Dr. Whitby. Some think, in allusion to the penalties used in the several courts of judgment among the Jews, Christ shows that the sin of rash anger exposes men to lower or higher punishments, according to the degrees of its proceeding. The Jews had three capital punishments, each worse than the other; beheading, which was inflicted by the judgment; stoning, by the council or chief Sanhedrim; and burning in the valley of the son of Hinnom, which was used only in extraordinary cases: it signifies, therefore, that rash anger and reproachful language are damning sins; but some are more sinful than others, and accordingly there is a greater damnation, and a sorer punishment reserved for them: Christ would thus show which sin was most sinful, by showing which it was the punishment whereof was most dreadful. Source: Mathew Henry

5 Honesty and Loving your Enemy, Matt 5:33-38

The Sermon on the Mount is about the love of God that calls sinners to repentance. It calls for an inner love that will show itself in outward actions. Love demands honesty. Deception has no place in love. Love is based on trust, and trust is broken by deception. This love is designed to reach not only friends, but also enemies. These enemies do not deserve love, but because of the love of God, they shall get it anyway. God, through you and your love, changes enemies into friends. In my innermost soul, I repent of my deceptions and lack of love.

The values of this section include honesty and love. Define yourself as a person who really values honesty. Work on making your enemies your friends. And do look for opportunities to express your love with words, gifts, gestures and smiles.

Mary likes to make a show of her sincerity. To make sure that people believe her, she will solemnly declare and swear that her statement is true. By the time she is finished, her listeners often wonder about her multitude of words. An explanation that is honest and true needs no certificate of authenticity. If Mary is truly sincere and honest, all she says will be honest and true. Out of an inner self that is honest come true words.

Honesty springs from the inner man who sees things as they are. There is no attempt to make them appear better or worse than they really are. That includes thoughts about himself, about things, about others, and about God. Thus his thoughts will be simply "Yes", this is true, or "No", this is not true. Rather black and white. On the basis of these thoughts, plans can be then built that will lead to worship, to change, or to service.

Jane had little trouble loving her friend June. That love to June brought so much back in returns. That love to June enriched her, encouraged her, gave her companionship. But to love Mary, who was such a pain, was another thing. Even thinking about Mary made her upset. So she avoided her whenever she could. But Mary would not go away. Mary was always there to remind her of the limits of her love. And definitely, she could not change Mary. Mary was difficult, and she most likely would remain than way. So the only option left to her was to change her attitude toward Mary. Could she love her? Could she love her enemy?

Matt 5: 39-42, 44, 48. Whoever slaps you on your right cheek,
turn the other to him also.
Love your enemies,
bless those who curse you,
do good to those that hate you,
and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.
Be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.

God is love. God's love reaches out to the lovely and the unlovely, to the loved and to those who have seen little love. Love is that inner relationship that binds God and man and reaches out to build bridges into other lives. It is stronger than the hate of the enemy. It overcomes that hate and prepares the ground for love.

On the Internet, also look up information on Love of Enemies: Love Your Enemies |

Respond to the True-and False questions. They may also serve as basis for further thinking and discussion. The questions are based on the above Bible passages.

1The reason for not swearing is that there is nothing to swear by.
2Resist an evil person.
3Lend things to people who come and ask you.
4Our love for our enemies is based on God's love for the unjust.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. How do you deal with oaths in court or in legal statement?

6 Giving, Matt 6:1-4

My love relationship with God is mainly based on His giving and my receiving. I really have nothing of worth to give back to him. Further, my relationship with God is not an exchange of gifts or a commercial one. But the gifts that I receive are intended not only for my use, but also for the use of others. Thus I give what I have received. I pass it on. I pass it on without show, because these gifts were not mine in the first place. It is not I that is so liberal, it is God. I repent of my stinginess, hoarding, and use of gifts to booster my ego.

The values of this section include sharing and generosity. You may want to assign a liberal budget for your giving and then keep that budget to yourself.

Marge was used to giving. She held her possessions lightly. And still, her bank balance kept increasing. Giving was to Marge a private act, and she never talked about it.

The Sermon on the Mount takes for granted that Christians will be giving. But it emphasizes the fact that giving needs to be a thought of the heart and primarily to God himself. Thus it is from the heart of man to the heart of God. A very private transaction of worship. If giving is primarily a show, it has lost that sacred inner base.

Matt 6:4 Your charitable deed may be done in secret,
and your Father who sees in secret,
will Himself reward you openly.

Consider the steps in giving. At first, you recognize the love and grace of God and repent of your own lack of love and mercy. God floods your life with love and other gifts. You bathe in them but right away also realize the needs of others. Next, you pray and look for ways to share God's gifts with them. You do this secretly without boasting, giving credit to the Giver, not taking credit for yourself. Lastly, you seek a resupply from God and pass that on also.

Respond to the True-and False questions. They may also serve as basis for further thinking and discussion. The questions are based on the above Bible passages.

1 We are encouraged to make public pledges for good causes.
2 We are encouraged to give recognition to liberal philanthropists .
3 We give in order to be rewarded openly by God.
4 Our motive in giving is more important that the amount.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. How do your relate Let-your-light-shine and secret giving?

7. Praying and Fasting, Matt 6:5-18

Our loving God invites us to talk to Him. And He talks to us through His Word and through the Holy Spirit. At best, it is the inner man that is praying, thinking, talking. This is a most intimate relationship, definitely not for show. Fasting is the cleansing of the mind for that communication. Again, it cannot be for show. It is relatively easy to repeat words and to abstain from food, but that is not praying and fasting. I repent of my superficially- said prayers and my pride in giving up some food.

The values of this section include prayerfulness and purposefulness. Consider keeping a notebook for prayer. There you may keep a list of people you pray for, your needs, and a record of prayers that were answered with an immediate or delayed "Yes" or "No".

Debby prayed before meals and before bedtime. Her prayers were short and sweet. Recently she had a long visit with a friend who has a real prayer-life. She realized that she was missing something. So Debby arranged her schedule to find time to sit back, let God talk to her through the Psalms, and to answer Him. Her life has changed.

In private prayer, the only audience is God. It is the inner man is listening and talking to God. In public prayer, the primary audience is still God, but others are permitted to listen in. The Lord's Prayer was designed as a private prayer.

Matt 6:6-13. When you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door,
pray to your Father who is in the secret place,
and the Father who sees in secret will reward you openly:

Our Father in heaven
Hallowed be your name
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven,
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors;
And do not let us be led into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one. Amen

Fasting is primarily an experience of the inner man, not the abstaining of food and the related events. Then why talk about it to others? Why get their sympathy and recognition?

Matt 6: 17, 18. When you fast, anoint your head and wash your face,
so that you do not appear to men to be fasting,
but to your Father who is in the secret place.

Values come from the heart. The inner man dictates the actions of the outer man. The Sermon on the mount deals mainly with the thoughts of the inner man as they are often in conflict with the actions of the outer man. At times, the outer man, rather than the inner man is in control. Jesus asks us to repent of our actions that are not motivated by an inner man in harmony with God. The center of Christianity is not public religious practice like public prayer and fasting, but the love-thoughts of the inner man toward God.

Respond to the True-and False questions. They may also serve as basis for further thinking and discussion. The questions are based on the above Bible passages.

1Jesus prefers secret prayer over public prayer.
2Jesus discourages long prayers.
3Jesus wants to know our needs so that he can respond to them.
4God's forgiveness to me is dependent on my forgiveness to others.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. What are your basic three or four principles of prayer?

V101 Values for Life Out of Trouble, an Introduction	Matthew 4-8
Eight Ways to the Good Life	Matthew 5:1-12, 13-20
V102 Values and Difficulties Living with Difficulties	Matthew 5:21-32, 33-48
Giving, Praying and Fasting	Matthew 6:1-4, 5-18
V103 Values and Priorities Priorities: The Good and the Best	Matthew 6: 19-24, 25-34
Reaching out the Wrong & Right Way	Matthew 7:1-6, 7-14
V104 Values in Actions Good Words versus Good Actions	Matthew 7:15-23
Toward a New Value-system	Matthew 7:24-27 & summary

1. I AM LOVED AND FEEL LOVED	3. I DO NOT Overly CONTROL OTHERS
2. I CHOOSE (NOT) TO BE ANGRY	4. NOBODY OWES ME ANYTHING
5. I value humility, accept my limits, release my fears, & know that I am not superior or inferior.

1. BIBLE TEXT: In-depth Word-study	4. What results are expected? (Application)
2. BIBLE CONTEXT: Cross-references	5. How are these results achieved?
3. BIBLE CONCEPTS: Meaning of texts	6. How are these results verified?

1. BIBLE TEXT: In-depth Word-study	4. What results are expected? (Application)
2. BIBLE CONTEXT: Cross-references	5. How are these results achieved?
3. BIBLE CONCEPTS: Meaning of texts	6. How are these results verified?

1. BIBLE TEXT: In-depth Word-study	4. What results are expected? (Application)
2. BIBLE CONTEXT: Cross-references	5. How are these results achieved?
3. BIBLE CONCEPTS: Meaning of texts	6. How are these results verified?

The Bible Dialog Institute presents:

Living With Difficulties

4 Anger and Adultery, Matt. 5:21-32

5 Honesty and Loving your Enemy, Matt 5:33-38

Giving, Praying, Fasting

6 Giving, Matt 6:1-4

7. Praying and Fasting, Matt 6:5-18

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