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Developing Trust
to Serve Together Joyously
| Course Number |
LWL401 |
| Objectives |
At the end of this course, you will
describe
1) 1)
how you know your place in the world, 2) how to develop relationships that can be trusted,
3) how to serve others,
and 4) how to stay with your goals.
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| Credit Hours and Fee |
3.0 CE Credit Hours with a fee of $24.00 |
| Instructor |
Rudolf Klimes, PhD (Indiana University), MPH
(Johns Hopkins University);
Adjunct Professor at Folsom Lake
College, Folsom CA. |
Take
this course for free. Or study this web-site for an
approved (RN-CEP 11430, MFT- PCE 39) 3-hours Continuing Education Certificate (0.3
CEUs) and take the 12-question multiple-choice quiz that is linked
to the bottom of this page.
Outline
of the Course
JoyMakers are individuals who face the pains of life realistically and who come out on
top. Joy comes as a byproduct to people who 1) know
their place in their world, 2) who have relationships that can be trusted, 3) who serve others,
and 4) who stay with their goals. There are places of worship that prominently display a
cross or the ten commandments. Then there are some who feature or a sentence, or a
stained-glass picture of heaven. I prefer the last one.
1. The Great JoyMaker
A. Many times, life seems like a real pain.
Life is like one person holding on to a bolt on a storm-tossed boat
while another one is trying to put a nut on it. It is like wanting to go in one direction,
while the sea of life sweeps you in another one. Unless you get these two together, life
will always be a painful struggle. Since you cannot stop the roaring sea, you have to find
another way toward joy. Some of the pains are just the consequences of life or your bad choices,
and there is no way to avoid them. Except not making bad choices. And this course is a
start in this too.
But do not look to YOURSELF,
and your FEARS
and PAINS,
and ABANDON your goals.
Look into yourself, and see the emptiness
that is ever present. Then try to fill that emptiness with emotional highs, with
money, and with power. For a while, it may look like it works. But after a while, life
becomes a boring high-low roller-coaster ride. You may have filled your house with
things that do not make you happy any longer, and your work becomes meaningless.
Look into yourself, and build your life.
Develop a clear life plan, look at your options, and implement your choices. That
works quite well in engineering and business, but in life, the inevitable pain returns. So
it takes more than just good life-management.
Where are you now and where are you going? Which of the four
areas, self, fear, pain, or existence is the greatest obstacle toward your joy? And in
that area, which of the given choices best describes your present condition. Are you
willing to move from these PainMakers toward the suggested JoyMaker characteristics? If
you print this out, check the appropriate blanks.
__  From SELF as__center, __enemy, __nothing
to self in a healthy relationship with the universe, your
family, and the people around.
__ From FEAR of __failure, ___judgments, ___and the future
to trust in the support of those that really count. (Who is
your audience?)
__
From the PAIN of __anger, __guilt, __boredom
to the joy of service.
__
From EXISTENCE as__power,__pleasure, __money
to a love for helping and giving.
B. There is a way toward joy.
First a note. This seminar, while Bible-based, is not religious in
the normal sense of the word. To become JoyMakers, individuals do not have to
attend a church. This seminar is based on the teaching of Jesus Christ as they were
presented some 2000 years ago. Jesus, the Great JoyMaker, exemplified and taught the
way to joy.
Run...looking unto JESUS,
the author and finisher of our FAITH,
who for the JOY that was set before him,
ENDURED the cross. Hebrews 12:1, 2
As we go through pain and look toward
Jesus, He in turn looks forward to a time when there will be no more pain. These next four
sections relate to the above four lines of Jesus' teaching.
The Family of God:
* Consider becoming comfortable hanging out with Jesus.
* Look to Jesus as a life-giving Brother rather than only as a law-giving Judge.
* Remember that the Bread of Life never becomes stale.
* Never forget that the Light of the World knows no power failure.
Your Faith in God:
* If you fear criticism, you will never do anything. Love
casts out fear.
* Better to face the danger once than to be always in fear.
* You deserve worse than you are getting, your faith is in God's mercy.
* Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the mastery of it.
* Zig Zigler defined FEAR as False Evidence Appearing Real.
The Great JoyMaker:
* We tire of the pleasure we taste, but never of those we
give.
* Joy multiplies when you divide it with others.
* JOY can stand for three words, Jesus, Others, and You.
* The measure of our love is the measure of our sacrifice.
Your Endurance with God:
* Endurance say that it will hang in there, that it will not
yet give up.
* The carver slowly cuts away everything that doesn't look like a dog.
* If the guide knows the way, stay with him through thick and thin.
* God knows the way, and the way is one toward eternal joy.
A life that is lived each day looking toward
God, that trusts in His help, that focuses beyond the immediate, and that expresses real
love, gives a joy that no pain can destroy.
Joy is not primarily an emotional
happiness, but a deeper cheerful attitude that looks with confidence into the future.
Thus one can be joyful even when things go bad, in sorrow, in grief, when the
spirit is heavy. While we can have joy today, the great joy for the Christian is
still in the future. We can often turn pain into joy, but we can not do so
always.
2. From Pain to Joy
A.
Your place in the world-- with peace of mind
We
all live with some pains. There is the pain of failure in relationships at home
or at work. There is the pain of the body in sickness or poor health. There is
the pain of loss as loved ones leave us behind or people rob us. We contribute
to some of them, others come to us without our participation. Pain is a reality
of life. We can choose to remain in pain, or to make pain secondary and the joy
of living primary. As the pain may not go away, but we can put it in its right
place.
Knowing
who you are is a fundamental characteristic of a JoyMaker. From the perspective
of God, you are His child. And He takes care of you. That puts you at peace with
everything, even with your pains. God does not allow a pain in your life that is
bigger than you can bare. To overcome the pain, He gives you a new joy of
living.
ERIC_NO:
ED435434.
Family Relationships and Adolescent Self-Concept.
Massey, Catherine J.
1999
ABSTRACT:
Previous research relating the quality of the relationship with the mother,
father, and sibling to adolescent self-concept only
investigated social and general self-concept and not
various social and cognitive dimensions of self-concept.
This study investigated family relationships and their link to the several
domains of self-concept. Participating were 77
adolescents between 13 and 18 years of age. The majority were white (85 percent)
and from middle- to upper-class backgrounds. Subjects completed the Piers-Harris
Children's Self-Concept Scale; the social support
factor of the Network of Relationships Inventory regarding their mother, father,
and sibling; and the mother and father affection and control subscales of the
Sibling Inventory of Differential Experience. Included for this study were the
following Piers-Harris scores: general self-concept,
behavior, intellectual and school status, physical appearance and attributes,
anxiety, popularity, and happiness and satisfaction. The findings indicated that
adolescents who perceived that there was no parental favoritism for affection
had higher general, behavior, and happiness and satisfaction self-concepts
than adolescents who perceived that they were unfavored. Adolescents who
perceived no parental favoritism for affection had higher physical appearance
and attributes and popularity self-concepts than
adolescents who perceived that they were favored. Females had higher behavior self-concepts
and lower anxiety self-concepts than males. The
higher the anxiety self-concept score, the lower the
number of anxious behaviors. Adolescents perceiving good parental social support
had higher general, physical appearance and attributes, anxiety, and popularity self-concepts
than adolescents perceiving poor social support.
B.
Relationships that can be trusted
One
of the greatest pains anyone bears is the pain of betrayal. It is most painful
when there is nobody in your life whom you can trust. That makes you really
alone and hopeless. Life can loose its meaning. You feel like nobody cares.
Nobody shares your life.
Thus
building trust-relationships is part of your journey to joy. You first seek the
trust of those closest to you, your family and friends. You may try to extend
your trust-relationships to some of your fellow-workers, neighbors and acquaintances.
When you can trust someone, you can enjoy that company because you know he or
she will not hurt you. The one you trust is there for you. That creates the
conditions for peace and joy.
ERIC_NO:
ED370930.
A Program for Building Trust between Teachers and Administrators To Enhance the
Supervision/Evaluation Process.
Ferris, Charles H., Jr.
1994
ABSTRACT:
The purpose of this action research study was twofold: first, to identify
administrator behaviors which enhance or inhibit the development of trust
between teachers and administrators; and, second, to improve trust through a
collaborative administrator/teacher trust building program. The project involved
the three schools (totalling seven administrators) of the Harwich
(Massachusetts) school district. Faculty members first devised and completed a
questionnaire for rating administrator behaviors that enhance or inhibit trust,
then trust building plans were collectively developed and implemented over a
12-month period, and, finally, plan results were assessed through
re-administration of the questionnaire. Findings indicated: that questionnaire
development was the most revealing part of the process and resulted in the
identification of 30 administrator behaviors either enhancing or inhibiting trust;
that development of trust building plans provided an increased
awareness of the importance of trust by all members of the staff; and that the
comparison of questionnaire responses before and after project implementation
showed that the level of trust between teachers and administrators can be
enhanced by making improvement an explicit goal of both the organization and of
administrators. The Trust Building Program agenda including introductory and
implementation activities, the identified behaviors of administrators rating
form, and objectives and activities of trust building plans are appended.
ERIC_NO:
ED437172.
Raising Children with Character: Parents, Trust, and the Development
of Personal Integrity.
Berger, Elizabeth.
1999
ABSTRACT:
Based upon the view that character development is not by and large the result of
special lessons, but is rather embedded in and the product of the child's
growth, this book focuses on how the intimacy of the ordinary day stimulates and
enhances the child's potential for morality, devotion, and idealism. The book
identifies general themes in the intimate relationship between parents and
children and shows how to support and enhance positive character development.
Vignettes from everyday situations and cases from clinical practice are used to
highlight typical issues concerning parents and illustrate treatment of troubled
children and adolescents and their families. The book defines the parents'
mission as learning to trust and enhance the child's emerging maturity rather
than simply concentrating on behavior management. Organized chronologically, the
book examines personality development from early childhood through adolescence
while interspersing subjects that recur throughout development. Topics
considered include the parent-child love relationship, parental authority and
temper, building self-discipline, the typical "back and forth" pattern
of development, emotional development, conscience development, materialism and
emphasizing people, citizenship in school, student motivation, adolescent needs
and fostering maturity, sexuality, and spiritual values.
C.
How to serve others -- in love
It
is difficult to relate to people whom you cannot trust. It is painful to serve
with people who will do you in at the slightest opportunity. Distrust creates
separation and pain.
You
can work well together when you can depend on your friend. You can use all you
wisdom and resources, knowing that they will be well used. You have then a basis
from which to serve and love. Since your basic needs are taken care of, you can
then help meet the needs of others. You can see others as truly needy and wish
the very best for them. Then would can work, making that wish a reality.
ERIC_NO:
ED419438.
Scale of Community Service Attitudes for College
Students.
Shiarella, Ann Harris,
1998
ABSTRACT:
This paper describes the development of a scale that measures college students'
attitudes about community service, based on Schwartz' process model of
altruistic helping behavior. The development of such a scale is seen as
essential for research, evaluation of interventions, and the prediction of
outcomes of community service participation. The model identifies eight
sequential steps in four phases in a helping action: (1) activation steps
(awareness of need, actions to relieve need, ability to provide help, sense of
connectedness), which involve perceptions of a need to respond; (2) obligation
step (empathy), or the moral obligation to respond; (3) defense steps (costs and
benefits, seriousness of need and responsibility to respond), or reassessment of
potential responses; and (4) response step (desire) for engagement in helping
behavior.
D. How to
stay with your goals
In
life we try to live minimize pain and maximize joy. We miss the most avoidable
pain when we stop being a pain to ourselves and to others. We the most joy when
we participate is as many joy occasions for ourselves and for others.
Our
life goals vary. But over all, we want to enjoy life, we want to do things that
will increase our joy and minimize our pains. You increase your joy when you
stop focusing on your pain and help in removing the pain of others. You increase
your joy when you are at peace with the people around you and with your God.
There is a joy set before each of us. For that, it is worth enduring some
pain.
ERIC_NO:
ED347447,
Goal Setting Skills for Young Adults.
Youngs, Bettie B.
1990
ABSTRACT:
This guide/workbook was written to help adolescents understand why goals are
important, identify their goals, and work toward achieving those goals.
Following a brief introduction, the guide is divided into five chapters. Chapter
1 asks readers the question: Who Is in Charge of Your Lives?" Setting goals
is presented as the key to shaping the events in people's lives and to getting
what they want out of life. Chapter 2 presents keys to goal setting, encouraging
readers to match their strengths with their dreams and to set a meaningful goal.
Chapter 3 "Setting Yourself up for Success," discusses six steps to
goal setting: desire, belief, writing, benefits, starting point, and deadlines.
Chapter 4 presents six steps to overcoming obstacles to achieving goals. These
steps include: (1) identifying the obstacles; (2) identifying the knowledge
required; (3) identifying people who can help; (4) making a plan; (5)
visualizing; and (6) being determined and persistent. Chapter 5 identifies six
keys to success, organized under the headings of Peace of Mind;
Health and Energy; Loving Relationships; Financial Freedom; Worthy Goals and
Ideals; and Personal Fulfillment. At the end of each chapter are two or three
exercises designed to reinforce the contents of the chapter and to help readers
apply the information to their own lives. The book includes appendices
containing additional worksheets on daily, weekly, and monthly goal statements.
3. Resources
Access to Joy
Joy-its
meaning
"These Things Have I Spoken Unto You, That My Joy May Be in You, and
That Your Joy May Be Fulfilled--John 15:11
" If any one asks the question, "How can I be a
happy Christian?" our Lord's answer is very simple: "These things," about
the Vine and the branches, "I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that
your joy may be fulfilled." "You cannot have My joy without My life. Abide in
Me, and let Me abide in you, and My joy will be in you." All healthy life is a thing
of joy and beauty; live undividedly the branch life; you will have His joy in full
measure.
To many Christians the thought of a life wholly abiding in
Christ is one of strain and painful effort. They cannot see that the strain and effort
only come, as long as we do not yield ourselves unreservedly to the life of Christ in us.
The very first words of the parable are not yet opened up to them: "I am the true
Vine; I undertake all and provide for all; I ask nothing of the branch but that it yields
wholly to Me, and allows Me to do all. I engage to make and keep the branch all that it
ought to be." Ought it not to be an infinite and unceasing joy to have the Vine
thus work all, and to know that it is none less than the blessed Son of God in His love
who is each moment bearing us and maintaining our life?
That My joy may be in you--We are to have Christ's
own joy in us. And what is Christ's own joy? There is no joy like love. There is no joy
but love. Christ had just spoken of the Father's love and His own abiding in it, and of
His having loved us with that same love. His joy is nothing but the joy of love, of being
loved and of loving. It was the joy of receiving His Father's love and abiding in it, and
then the joy of passing on that love and pouring it out on sinners. It is this joy He
wants us to share: the joy of being loved of the Father and of Him; the joy of in our turn
loving and living for those around us. This is just the joy of being truly branches:
abiding in His love, and then giving up ourselves in love to bear fruit for others. Let us
accept His life, as He gives it in us as the Vine, His joy will be ours: the joy of
abiding in His love, the joy of loving like Him, of loving with His love.
And that your joy may be fulfilled--That it may be
complete, that you may be filled with it. How sad that we should so need to be reminded
that as God alone is the fountain of all joy, "God our exceeding joy," the only
way to be perfectly happy is to have as much of God, as much of His will and fellowship,
as possible! Religion is meant to be in everyday life a thing of unspeakable joy. And why
do so many complain that it is not so? Because they do not believe that there is no joy
like the joy of abiding in Christ and in His love, and being branches through whom He can
pour out His love on a dying world.
Oh, that Christ's voice might reach the heart of every young
Christian, and persuade him to believe that His joy is the only true joy, that His joy can
become ours and truly fill us, and that the sure and simple way of living in it is--only
this--to abide as branches in Him our heavenly Vine. Let the truth enter deep into us--as
long as our joy is not full, it is a sign that we do not yet know our heavenly Vine
aright; every desire for a fuller joy must only urge us to abide more simply and more
fully in His love.
My joy--your joy. In this too it is: as the Vine, so
the branch; all the Vine in the branch. Thy joy is our joy--Thy joy in us, and our joy
fulfilled. Blessed Lord, fill me with Thy joy--the joy of being loved and blessed with a
divine love; the joy of loving and blessing others."
Matthew Henry's Commentary: "What it was that supported the human soul of Christ
under these unparalleled sufferings; and that was the joy that was set before him.
He had something in view under all his sufferings, which was pleasant to him; he rejoiced
to see that by his sufferings he should make satisfaction to the injured justice of God
and give security to his honor and government, that he should make peace between God and
man, that he should seal the covenant of grace and be the Mediator of it, that he should
open a way of salvation to the chief of sinners, and that he should effectual save all
those whom the Father had given him, and himself be the first-born among many brethren.
This was the joy that was set before him."
"The Longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude,
to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education,
than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people
think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will
make or break a company... a church ... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice
every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our
past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change
the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have and that is our
attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes." Charles Swindoll
TEST
Study this web-site for
3 hours for an
approved (RN-CEP 11430, MFT- PCE 39) 3-hours Continuing Education Certificate (0.3
CEUs). Then take the TEST.
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