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Healing Talk: Think, Talk & Act Health

 

Course Number	LWH910
Objectives	At the end of this course, you will  1. identify unhealthy and healthy talk 2. describe healing thinking, 3. understand healing talking, 4. list healing actions.
Credit Hours and Fee	3.0 CE Credit Hours with a fee of $24.00
Instructor	Rudolf Klimes, PhD (Indiana University), MPH (Johns Hopkins University); Adjunct Professor at Folsom Lake College, Folsom CA.

Overview 

For all that has been: Thanks! For all that will be: Yes!            by Dag Hammarskjold

The daily news, the complaints we encounter at home and work, the insults of others, the enumerations of our pains, the description of evil, all these are unhealthy talk. They are discouraging, stressing, negative and sickening. We are surrounded by them daily. They can damage both our mental and physical health.  

On the other hand, our self-talk, our conversations, and our expressed actions, can be healing and contribute to our health. So we are learning to think health, talk health and act health.

1. Think Health

Self-Talk. When we read, we consider the thoughts of others, and if they are helpful, we can make them our own. As we read some passages every week, they slowly become our own and form the basis of our thinking. And as we think, we talk to ourselves.

Poem for the Stressed (Author Unknown)
Dear Lord, So far today I am doing alright.
I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self indulgent.
I have not whined, cursed, or eaten any chocolate.
I have not charged on my credit card.
But I will be getting out of bed in a minute, and I think that I'll really need your help then.

ERIC_NO: ED361813, Self-Talk & Self-Health. ERIC Digest. by Weikle, Julia E., 1993
ABSTRACT: This digest examines the ways in which self-talk, or inner speech, can help change people's health states. The digest first examines research theories that underpin the concept, then discusses the development of a positive mental attitude, and finally offers some conclusions as to how individuals can best face challenges through taking an active role in deciding what to think. This involves enhancing the positive messages people send themselves but also involves being realistic, identifying the causes for whatever is negative and understanding it as a signal to act. From www.askeric.org 

A man had the words "breathe" engraved on the inside of his wedding band. So I asked what the words meant. He said he wanted to remind himself of the importance of just stopping every now and than and remembering to breathe deeply. That is to think health.

See www.selfgrowth.com 

2. Talk Health

Our speech is a result of our thinking. We first think about something and then we talk about it. Or we react to events and the things others say or do. Healthy talk is uplifting, encouraging, positive.   

Take a test at  http://www.queendom.com/tests/minitests/communication_short_access.html  and explore http://www.newconversations.net/communication_skills_workbook_summary_and_toc.htm 

ERIC_NO: ED358773, Speech Communication Skills for College Students., Jones, Elizabeth A.; Melander, Lynn, 1993
ABSTRACT: This paper defines communication assessment in terms of the four characteristics of communication identified by John Daly, which propose that: (1) communication is interactive and dialogic; (2) communication occurs in real time; (3) communication is inherently contextual; and (4) communication is personal as well as social. The paper then examines the literature concerning the skills involved in communication assessment. The review of the literature on communication assessment is organized into the following categories: adaptability, interpersonal communication, intercultural communication, communication performance (including nonverbal communication), language use, critical thinking skills, and listening skills. The review suggests that: (1) communication goes beyond the use of simple skills to involve sensitivity to the situation and adaptability to changing behaviors and goals; (2) effective communicators must convey a sense of social comfort and maintain a relaxed environment; (3) effective communicators are sensitive to the impact of proximity and body language; (4) critical thinking skills play a dominant role in effective communication because of the speaker's need to constantly adapt to and evaluate the communication context; and (5) listening skills are closely related to critical thinking in communication because listening requires that the interactants understand the words and phrases used and be able to concentrate on and effectively evaluate messages. From www.askeric.org 

3. Act Health

Talk in Action: In many ways, mental and physical health is a result of our behavior. There is heredity that may do us in, there are germs that may attack us, there are cells that may malfunction.  But nevertheless, how  we think, eat, move and touch  greatly influences our mental and physical health. When we think and talk health, we contribute to both our mental and physical health. Then when we act health in our lifestyle, we further contribute to our wellness.

Healing Talk: A FaithWell Approach

The process of thinking health, talking health and acting health is healing. God's Word can heal you, and through you, others also. But unhealthy talk, unhealthy thinking and unhealthy actions harm or kill. (All references below, except those otherwise indicated, are taken from the Psalms. We consider the Psalms here as part of the ancient wisdom literature that can contribute to health.) 
"Those who sat in darkness and in the shadow of death...fell down and there was none to help them." (Psalm 107:10, 12) "Fools because of their transgressions...their soul abhorred all manner of food and they drew near to the gates of death." (107: 17-18) 
After that, "they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He saved them out of their distresses." (107:19) In the following sections, we will show how people are saved through healthy thinking, healthy talk and healthy actions. 

1. Think Health
Meditating on God's Word heals. Jesus is the Word, and He still heals. Thus we can focus on your goal to glorify God. "He sent His word and healed them." (107:20) With the Bible, we can think God's thoughts after Him and think health.  "Your Word has given me life." (119:50) "Your Word I have hidden in my heart." (119:11) God' has the gift of health ready for us.

1.1 Some concentrate their thinking on pain and disease. With their pain, some become a pain. "It was too painful for me-- until I went into the sanctuary of God." (73:16,17) They need to "declare His works with rejoicing." (107:22)
1.2  Some miss their daily appointment with God and His word. Thus God's Word cannot get through to  them and heal them. "When you said, 'Seek My face', my heart said to you, 'Your face, Lord, will I seek.'" (all 27 and 27:8)
So think gratitude, acceptance, affection, encouragement, delight, praise, appreciation, forgiveness, respect, courtesy, politeness, contentment, self-disclosure... 
And then say to yourself: "You are great. I love you." "The Lord looks after me and my needs." "I know life is not fair, but with God by my side, I have nothing to fear."

2. Talk Health
Speaking God's Word heals. Leave no room for feebleness. "Let them sacrifice the sacrifice of thanksgiving and declare His works with rejoicing."  (107:21, 22) As we talk in a positive and thankful way about God's blessings, He heals us. "My tongue shall speak of your Word, for all Your commandments are righteous." (119:172) We can accept God's free gift of health.

2.1 Some are negatively addicted. We can testify to God's positive goodness in our lives and praise him. "Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so. "(107:1,2)
2.2 Some do not talk with their friends and family enough. We can share both our tears and joy. "Those who sow in tears, shall reap in joy." (126:5)
2.2 Some do not talk with God enough. We often miss our prayer time. We need to talk so God will listen, and listen so God will talk. "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord, and You forgave the iniquity of my sin. For this cause, everyone who is godly shall pray to You in a time when you may be found." (32:5,6)

 Stop unhealthy talk.  Don't phone when you can visit. Don't distrust when you have no reason to. Don't isolate yourself. Don't gossip. Don't blame. Don't be sarcastic. Don't be insensitive. Don't nurture a victim mentality. Don't be defensive. Don't use non-verbal negatives. Don't criticize destructively, but change it into a constructive request ("I would like you to do it this way."). 
Don't say to others: "I have no time for you." "What have you done for me lately?" "How does he dare talk to me that way!"
 Use healing talk. I try to listen twice as much as I speak. I compromise when appropriate. 
Then I say to others: "It's so nice to be with you."  "How can I help?" "The Lord is so good in giving me daily strength to exercise." '"Blessings on us." "I have something for you!"
And I pray: "Lord, thanks for your gift of health you gave to me." "Lord, I do not have to give up being myself to be loved by you!"

3. Act Health
Acting on God's Word heals. We can put the Thought-Word and the Spoken-Word into action now. "He sent His word and healed them." (107:20) With the Bible, we can respond to God's Word and act health. "Your Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. Direct my steps by Your Word. " (119:105; 133) And when the Lord brought His people out of Egypt, "there was none feeble among His tribes." (105:37) "If you diligently heed the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in His sight...I will put none of the diseases on you which I brought on the Egyptians. For I am the Lord who heals you." (Exodus 15:26) We too can use God's gift of health in our daily lives.  

3.1 Some lack exercise. They are couch potatoes. These need to get a move on, a good half hour or more daily. "I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living." (116:9)
3.2 Some eat too little. They fast too much. "Fools because of their transgressions...their soul abhorred all manner of food and they drew near to the gates of death." (107: 17-18) Many of these need to eat twice as much. 
3.3 Some eat too much. They are gluttons. Many of these need to eat about half as much as they do now. Every calorie of food that enters your mouth must be used or stored somewhere. "Do not mix with winebibbers or with gluttonous eaters of food." (Proverbs 23:20)
3.4 Some eat the wrong things. They are junk-food addicts. We eat mainly these 5 food categories: grains, vegetables, fruits, beans and nuts. "And God said, 'I have given you every herb that yields seed...and every tree whose fruit yields seed, to you it shall be for food." (Genesis 1:29) Even vegetarians can harm themselves with an excess of dairy foods and sugary desserts. 
3.5 Some seldom smile or laugh. There is healing power in a smile, for you and those that see you. "When the Lord brought back the captivity of Zion...our mouth was filled with laughter." (126:1,2) "Let them ...declare His works with rejoicing." (107:22)

We practice the health we think and talk about. Doing that also boosts our immune power and helps us fight disease. 
*We will exercise regularly. We'll say, "Let's go for a walk. God gives me strength. I will use it."
*We will eat right. We will say, "This is good for me, I will enjoy it."
*We will sleep and relax enough. We will say, "What a blessed rest that was!"
*We will laugh frequently with our friends. We will say, "With you, my cup runs over with joy."

 Communication Skills By Karen Irmsher              

On average, leaders are engaged in one form or another of communication for about 70 percent of their waking moments. This Digest provides suggestions for leaders who want to increase the effectiveness of those interactions.

What One Skill Is Most Essential for Effective Communication?

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood," recommends Stephen Covey (1990). He, and many others, believe this precept is paramount in interpersonal relations. To interact effectively with anyone--teachers, students, community members, even family members--you need first to understand where the person is "coming from."

Next to physical survival, Covey observes, "the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival--to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated." When you listen carefully to another person, you give that person "psychological air." Once that vital need is met, you can then focus on influencing or problem-solving. The inverse is also true. School leaders who focus on communicating their own "rightness" become isolated and ineffectual, according to a compilation of studies by Karen Osterman (1993).

Good listeners don't interrupt, especially to correct mistakes or make points; don't judge; think before answering; face the speaker; stay close enough to hear; watch nonverbal behavior; are aware of biases or values that distort what they hear; look for the feelings and basic assumptions underlying remarks; concentrate on what is being said; avoid rehearsing answers while the other person is talking; and don't insist on having the last word (Richard Gemmet 1977).

To master the art of listening, Gemmet advises developing the attitude of wanting to listen, then the skills to help express that attitude.

What Are Some Other Skills of Effective Communicators?

Asking questions is an excellent way to initiate communication because it shows other people that you're paying attention and interested in their response. Susan Glaser and Anthony Biglan (1977) suggest the following:

* ask open-ended questions

* ask focused questions that aren't too broad

* ask for additional details, examples, impressions

Giving Feedback. Several types of feedback--praise, paraphrasing, perception-checking, describing behavior, and "I-messages"--are discussed in the paragraphs that follow.

When giving feedback, say Charles Jung and associates (1973), it is useful to describe observed behaviors, as well as the reactions they caused. They offer these guidelines: the receiver should be ready to receive feedback; comments should describe, rather than interpret; feedback should focus on recent events or actions that can be changed, but should not be used to try to force people to change.

One especially important kind of feedback for administrators is letting staff members know how well they are doing their jobs. Effective school leaders give plenty of timely positive feedback. They give negative feedback privately, without anger or personal attack, and they accept criticism without becoming defensive.

Paraphrasing. Charles Jung and his colleagues stress that the real purpose of paraphrasing is not to clarify what the other person actually meant, but to show what it meant to you. This may mean restating the original statement in more specific terms, using an example, or restating it in more general terms.

Perception Checking. Perception checking is an effort to understand the feelings behind the words. One method is simply to describe your impressions of another person's feelings at a given time, avoiding any expression of approval or disapproval.

Describing Behavior. Useful behavior description, according to Jung and his associates, reports specific, observable actions without value judgments, and without making accusations or generalizations about motives, attitudes, or personality traits. "You've disagreed with almost everything he's said" is preferable to "You're being stubborn."

What's a Nonthreatening Method of Requesting Behavior Change?

"I"-messages reflect one's own views and rely on description rather than criticism, blame, or prescription. The message is less likely to prompt defensive reactions and more likely to be heard by the recipient. One form of "I"-message includes three elements: (1) the problem or situation, (2) your feelings about the issue, and (3) the reason for the concern. For example, "When you miss staff meetings, I get concerned that we're making plans without your input."

For expressing feelings, Jung and colleagues recommend a simpler form. You can refer directly to feelings ("I'm angry"), use similes, ("I feel like a fish out of water"), or describe what you'd like to do ("I'd like to leave the room now").

How Can Individuals Improve the Nonverbal Components of Their Communications?

Whether you're communicating with one person or a group, nonverbal messages play an important role. Kristen Amundson (1993) notes that one study found 93 percent of a message is sent non-verbally, and only 7 percent through what is said. Doreen S. Geddes (1995) offers the following pointers:

* Body orientation. To indicate you like and respect people, face them when interacting.

* Posture. Good posture is associated with confidence and enthusiasm. It indicates our degree of tenseness or relaxation. Observing the posture of others provides clues to their feelings.

* Facial expression. Notice facial expressions. Some people mask emotions by not using facial expression; others exaggerate facial expression to belie their real feelings. If you sense contradictions in verbal and nonverbal messages, gently probe deeper.

* Eye contact. Frequent eye contact communicates interest and confidence. Avoidance communicates the opposite.

* Use of space. The less distance, the more intimate and informal the relationship. Staying behind your desk when someone comes to visit gives the impression that you are unapproachable.

* Personal appearance. People tend to show more respect and respond more positively to individuals who are are well-dressed, but not overdressed.

How Can School Leaders Enhance Interpersonal Relationships with Colleagues and Constituents?

Vision, humor, accessibility, team-building skills, and genuine praise all can help to create a positive emotional climate.

Vision. Allan Vann (1994) notes that "principals earn staff respect by articulating a clear vision of their school's mission, and working collegially to accomplish agreed-on goals and objectives." This process should begin before school starts, and be reinforced throughout the school year.

Removing Barriers. Communication barriers can deplete team energy and isolate individuals who may then proceed on the basis of faulty assumptions. Meetings and various in-house communiqués, combined with private discussions, can remove interpersonal barriers before they become larger problems.

Giving Praise. Communication experts recommend using sincere praise whenever possible to create a more constructive atmosphere. An indirect way of giving praise is through telling others stories about people at your school who are doing remarkable things.

Being Accessible. It is important to be available and welcome personal contact with others. Informal meetings are as important as formal ones. Ask people about their families and call them by their first names. An administrator who takes the time to get to know the staff will be able to identify, develop, and make best use of each staff member's capabilities.

Building Teamwork. When schools move toward site-based management, open communication becomes even more essential. A sense of teamwork can be nurtured through an earnest effort to help each staff member achieve his or her potential.

Using Humor. Various researchers indicate humor is the seventh sense necessary for effective school leadership. Results of a study by Patricia Pierson and Paul Bredeson (1993) suggest that principals use humor for four major purposes: (1) creating and improving school climate; (2) relating to teachers the principal's understanding of the complexities and demands of their professional work-life; (3) breaking down the rigidity of bureaucratic structures by humanizing and personalizing interpersonal communications; and (4) when appropriate, delivering sanctions and other necessary unpleasantries.  From www.askeric.org 

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