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Forgiveness Index:
Classifying Events
| Course Number |
LWF501 |
| Objectives |
At the end of this course, you will
1. understand the content of forgiveness, 2. index forgiveness as seen
from the perspective of the forgiver and the offender, and 3. interpret
the Forgiveness Index in the context of further relationships. |
| Credit Hours and Fee |
3.0 CE Credit Hours with a fee of $24.00 |
| Instructor |
Rudolf Klimes, PhD (Indiana University), MPH
(Johns Hopkins University);
Adjunct Professor at Folsom Lake
College, Folsom CA. |
LearnWell Forgiveness Institute:
www.forgiver.net
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Forgiveness Index
Forgiveness is a relationship between the forgiver and the
offender. It may be categorized or indexed according to the attitudes and
actions of the forgiver and the offender. In the Forgiveness Index, the number
stands for the forgiver's attitude or action, the capital letter for the
offender's attitude or action. Thus 4C indicates a case where the forgiver
grants full forgiveness to an offender who requests forgiveness.
Forgiveness
may be defined as the renouncing of anger or retaliation against a person who
has harmed you. See Forgiveness
Therapy. Dr. Archibald Hart defined it as the "giving up my right
to hurt you for hurting me."
The
five steps in granting the gift of forgiveness (according to R. Klimes, PhD)
are:
A. Acknowledge the anger and hurt
caused by the clearly identified specific offense(s).
B. Bar revenge and any thought of inflicting harm as repayment or
punishment to the
offender.
C. Consider the offender's perspective. Try to understand his/her
attitude and behavior..
C. Consider the offender's perspective. Try to understand his/her
attitude and behavior.
D. Decide to accept
the hurt without unloading it on the offender. Passing it back and forth
magnifies it.
E. Extend compassion and good will to the offender. That releases the
offended from the offense.
Content
of Offenses
Some content or types of offenses that call for
forgiveness are:
| Unpaid debt or damages: |
Cost in money |
| Misunderstandings or unreal things: |
Imagination, over-sensitivity |
| Relationships and communication: |
Marriage, work, business, cheating, religious, social,
national |
| Acts of violence: |
Crimes |
The Forgiver
Select
the Index 1-5 that best fits your forgiveness situation. While
the five forgiveness options below may follow in the given order, not all
situations lend themselves to all five options. A higher number does not
necessarily indicate a better forgiveness. In some cases, more than one
option may apply. Michelle Nelson in
Beverly Flanigan's Exploring Forgiveness suggests three degrees of
forgiveness, namely detached, limited and full forgiveness.
| 1. One-sided Forgiveness |
Forgiveness as an independent act of the forgiver |
Forgiveness may be an (1.1) ongoing attitude or (1.2) a
specific act of the forgiver not dependent on the attitude or behavior
of the offender. The offender (1.3) knows or (1.4) does not know about the
forgiveness. He does not ask for forgiveness. The offender may be unreachable. |
| 2. Detached Forgiveness |
Forgiveness without reconciliation |
The forgiver's anger is (2.1) reduced one or more levels,
as
from violence to arguments, or (2.2) is renounced. The relationship
between the forgiver and the offender is strained. |
| 3. Limited Forgiveness |
Forgiveness with some reconciliation |
The forgiver's anger is (3.1) reduced a further level,
or (3.2) is renounced.. There is a prescribed limited relationship between the
forgiver and the offender. |
| 4. Full Forgiveness |
Forgiveness and reconciliation |
The forgiver renounces all anger and revenge
against the offender and the offender changes his offensive
attitude and behavior. |
| 5. Pardoning Forgiveness |
Forgiveness followed by a release of consequences |
The forgiver renounces all anger and revenge against
the offender, notes the offender's giving up of offensive attitude
and behavior,
and releases the offender from all consequences of the offense. |
The
Offender
Select
the Index A-E that best describes the offender's attitude and actions in
relationship to the forgiver.
| A. Offender does not recognize the need for forgiveness
or does not accept forgiveness. |
The offender does not live in a world of forgiveness. |
| B. Offender recognizes his/her need of forgiveness |
Because of conscience or problem. |
| C. Offender requests forgiveness |
The request is accepted or rejected. |
| D. Offender improves attitude toward forgiver |
The offender reduces or gives up offensive attitude. |
| E. Offender improves behavior toward forgiver |
The offender reduces or gives up offensive behavior. |
Thus the Forgiveness Index provides for a categorization of
the forgiveness relationship, expressed in numbers and letters, such as 4C. As
such, the Forgiveness Index describes the situation and may be useful in the
development of further relationships.
Relationship
Enhancement through Forgiveness
Each
part of the Forgiveness Index describes the past relationship between the
forgiver and the offender. As you examine the other options in 1-5 and A-E,
consider further changes that can contribute to an improved future relationship
between the forgiver and the offender. There are many situations that do not
call for an improved relationship.
Forgiveness Assignment
For
your own learning, do the following: (do not submit)
1.
Write out a case dealing with
forgiveness_______________________________________________
2.
List the specific content or type of the
offense___________________________________________
3.
Give the Forgiveness Index (as 2B etc) for the
case______________________________________
4.
Recommend further
actions_________________________________________________________
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Therapy and Forgiveness
Skills.
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